Putting on a Show
by NotLonesomeTupperware
Summary: A bizzare combination of Eppescest, Pinescest, and pure nonsense. Not to be taken too seriously. Includes spaghetti.


WARNING: Contains a bizzare combination of Eppescest, Pinescest, and very dirty minds.

Charlie stared into the rabbit's eyes. He laughed as he set it on fire, boiling its blood and then pouring it into a stone basin for Amita. Amita smiled gleefully as Charlie handed her the stone basin for her to drink blood reflected her joyous expression as she gulped it down. Charlie stood watching on as his beloved thirstily drink the blood he had killed for. Mr Thuly was also nearby wishing that this was a different fanfiction.  
"Mabel do you ever think that this is wrong?" said Dipper as he and Mabel were curled up together on the couch. Grunkle Stan had gone to bed about an hour ago.  
"Why?" responded Mabel as Waddles waddled into the room and sat down next to the couch.  
"I dunno. I just sometimes think our relationship only exists to please a creepy math teacher somewhere in Chicago" Mabel turned towards Dipper with a puzzled look on her face.  
"You're kind of cray cray, Dipper. You know that?" Dipper shrugged.  
"But I don't mind" said Mabel with a smile. Mr Thuly was suddenly behind the couch.  
Meanwhile, at CalSci, Charlie and Amita noticed that a cold presence had disappeared from the room. Amita turned to Charlie, who was covered in the blood of the rabbit. Charlie smiled at Amita and she hugged him. He was so cute covered in the blood of animals.  
Just then, socially-awkward Alan walked in with a bag of groceries  
"Anyone need a granola bar?" asked Alan, oblivious to the situation he had just walked into.  
"No thank you," said Charlie, "I crave the blood of a kitten."  
"Okay," said Alan, "That's perfectly normal"  
"That's my favorite book!" exclaimed Larry, who had been lurking behind the bookshelves the entire time. "I read it every night before I go to bed."  
"Me too!" said Mr Thuly who had since returned from his Pinecest fanfiction fantasy.  
"Who are you?" asked Charlie.  
"I watch you in the shower," said Mr Thuly. Amita smiled.  
"I was wondering who you were, it isn't everyday that more than one person watch Charlie in the shower"  
"Make that more than two people," said Larry.  
"Make that more than four people" said Alan. "I sometimes bring my grandma too"  
Suddenly, Don appeared. "Wow, you guys watch Charlie too?" he said, "I thought it was just me!"  
"Maybe we should have a viewing party" suggested Amita "With party snacks!"  
"I'll provide the sauce," Mr Thuly volunteered. "I'll use my special recipe. My students love it."  
"I didn't know you taught classes, Mr Thuly" said Charlie. "Where do you teach?"  
"Everywhere," said Mr Thuly, "Children are learning everwhere. I am wherever children are. Also fanfiction. I'm in all the fanfiction."  
"True story" said Larry. "You're in all the fanfiction I read. All the Pinecest has you in it And believe me, I read a lot of Pinecest."  
"I read a lot of Eppescest," said Don.  
"So do I," said Alan.  
"Why would you read it when you can have the real thing" said Charlie with a wink.  
Suddenly, the lights dimmed and music started playing.  
Candles drifted down through the ceiling and provided romantic lighting. They needed light to see properly, after all. What was the point of Eppescest if they couldn't see it? Charlie and Don were now sitting at a table eating spaghetti, like in _Lady and the Tramp_. Mr Thuly clapped his hands in anticipation. "Eat that spaghetti..." he murmured breathily. Don and Charlie gazed into each other's was a moment that they'd been waiting for since Don first looked at Charlie as a baby. They slowly made their way through that long piece of spaghetti, just waiting for it to end... Alan was really freaking out.  
Suddenly, Larry was all like "wait! I have to get my camera!" and Don and Charlie were forced to wait until the physics professor ran down the hall to his office. The wait was agonizing, they couldn't speak. Their lust was too strong. Amita sighed impatiently. "JUST KISS!" she shouted, "KISS AND DO MORE!"  
THE NEXT MORNING:  
Charlie woke up and rolled over, smiling at his brother who was still asleep. Charlie brushed the hair off his brother's forehead and kissed his forehead. "Good morning, Don," he murmured, "Where are Dad and Amita?"  
Alan and Amit poked their heads out from under the bed. "We're down here with Mr Thuly," said Amita.  
"You guys were great last night!" said Amita with enthusiasm.  
"Way better than Dipper and Mabel," said Mr Thuly, "And that's saying something." Alan nodded in agreement. "Those twins just have no idea what they're doing. Mr Thuly and I have to show them everything, not that we mind"  
"Where's Larry?" asked Charlie.  
"He got too overwhelmed. I think he's telling Megan, Colby, and David about it." said Amita.  
"The more the merrier" said Charlie happily. He loved having an audience when he was with Don.  
It was at that moment that Larry, Megan, Colby, David, and Don's wife Robin rushed in, still in their pajamas.  
"Pillow fight!" yelled Mr Thuly as he grabbed a pillow and whacked Robin with it. Robin laughed and threw one back at Megan. Colby grabbed his gun and shot Alan in the head.  
"Whoops" said Colby apologetically. "I thought it was a pillow"  
"I have that same problem." said Charlie "I'll grab something thinking it's a pillow and it's not"  
"Guns, pillows... I confuse them all the time," said Mr Thuly "also minors and non-minors"  
"No harm done," said Don, who'd been shocked awake by the sound of gunfire, "He didn't pay rent anyway."  
"So, who wants breakfast?" asked Amita. "we killed an ostrich the other day and there is enough blood for everyone!"  
~FIN~


End file.
